TO IRWIN ALLEN

by Arthur Chappell

Irwin, are the Robinson Family
Still out in space? Why didn't they ever
Ask for directions, and kill Zachary
Smith for getting them stranded forever?
Did precocious little Willie ever mature?
Has Robot been cured of hysteria?
What of those other lost travellers? (You're
Very careless, Mister Allen), How are
Those little people from the Spindrift ship
In the land of cameras on the floor
To make actors look like giants? Let's skip
To the bottom of the sea, and those poor
Submariners with werewolves down below
Hiding out in the ballast tanks astern;
That's right, same place as last week. Now you know
I can read the titles so stop shouting
And clean that bath out when you're through filming.