Pregnancy Symptoms Nobody Warns You About

1. You find yourself standing at a bar ordering a glass of milk
2. Almost overnight, you develop the ability to tell a Graco buggy from a Mamas & Papas at fifty paces
3. You have to fight back tears recounting the plot of "It's a Wonderful Life"
4. Centre Parcs starts looking like a really attractive holiday destination
5. Every time you hear a new name you try it against your surname to see how it sounds
6. Extra large tights haven't fitted in months
7. For the first time in your life you start wishing your family lived closer
8. Your tummy starts recreating scenes from The Thing all by itself
9. You look in the mirror and realise you have the figure of a Spacehopper
10. Someone suggests if they painted you with orange stripes you could play a planet in Dave Wake's production...