Quotes

You know how, whenever you have a large group of people chatting, from time to time everything will go quiet, and some completely raving hatstand comment will drift across the room?

Well, we write 'em down to fill gaps in the paper version of FONTzine...

It was like Tony's Buffy cut-out, but with more dignity.

Monsters lose their terror when they're cross-eyed.

It's full of important stuff, like "Denise Van Outen Has New Haircut Shock!"

I'm married to a Robin Hood fetishist.

I once wrote a birthday card which was longer than my O-level English exam.

I wanna be "drone on a stick".

Count Duckula was a scarier vampire than Harmony.

Up the Brussels Sprouts Liberation Army!

There should be a pink fuzzy Hulk for when he's feeling particularly sentimental.

"My brother dismembered her for a film"

"What, a doll snuff movie?"

There's the Van De Graaff generator at the top of Barad-Dur. Look, you can see it!

You've been "involved in programme" items to the point of having lesbian sex in a shower.

Useful advice: never sit on your lightsabre.