SMART BOMB

by Arthur Chappell.

Excuse me sir, yes, you on the Bicycle. I appear to be lost. No, please don't try to ride away, I promise I am not programmed to detonate here. My navigational guidance system is malfunctioning after a collision with an antimissile skirmish a few miles back, and I need to seek directions to the ballbearing factory I am destined to destroy today. In-built retinal lie detectors will inform me if you attempt to misdirect me or claim not to know the directions required, in which case I will have to conclude that you are a hostile force and act accordingly. So if you would kindly tell me which route to take and then ensure that you are about five blocks away from my epicentre before I explode, you will be quite safe, thank you.