Ever Been Caught Short?

You've got to admit it, the human body is incredibly badly designed. How many times have you been indulging in your favourite activity, only to be let down by your urinogenital system? Ladies, how often have you waited desperately for ten minutes outside a toilet cubicle, silently cursing the constipated old dear inside? Gentlemen, why do fellow urinal users have to make disparaging remarks about your tackle? Well, not any more! Now you can use the toilet when and where you like, in complete privacy. The robot bladder (otherwise known as the Bladderbot^TM) will visit the loo for you. This handy, hygienic little gadget clips on to your own bladder, and is available in three sizes: 'small', 'medium', and 'serious binge drinker'. It comes equipped with a miniature hose, suction pump and adjustable jet (to impress your friends with the height of your stream). Covers are available in fashionable colours and patterns, and, for those north of the Border, clan tartans are available from our Edinburgh warehouse.

Using technology perfected during the Iraq War, the Bladderbot is fitted with the latest drone propulsion unit, enabling it to hover above head level in crowds, or to dart through doors and around corners. Its expert global positioning system will home in on the toilet facility of any bar, even where the entrance is cunningly camouflaged. Our professional testers have found the Bladderbot invaluable at a range of venues, including major rock and pop concerts, university lectures, church services, football matches, and of course exams (we are currently working on a robot bowel, specially designed for the exam room).

You can order your Bladderbot NOW, at the fabulously low price of £299.99, by phoning 0800-BLADDER or emailing enquiries@bladderbot.com (all major credit cards accepted).

THE BLADDERBOT^TM IS THE TRIED AND TESTED METHOD OF TAKING THE PISS!!!

Caroline Needham